R E L A T I O N S H I P S 101 :

The Not so sexy TRUTH about romantic love.

Understanding the life cycle of relationships can be a powerful tool for shifting the myths and fantasies you may hold that actually may prevent you from getting the love you want. Have you ever wondered what happened to the “Honeymoon” phase of your relationship? If you are like most couples, the answer is yes, and you likely spend a great deal of effort trying to get back to that place. Unfortunately, it is steering you in the wrong direction. In fact, research and neuroscience show that in the romantic stage of relationships, your brain chemicals produce massive amounts of dopamine and norepinephrine, similar to the effects of drugs such as cocaine. This phase lasts less than a year, and it is an unconscious state of being. The next phase of relationships is called the power struggle. Couples can remain here for years, and without understanding that there can be GOLD and transformational opportunities here, this stage often remains unconscious. The way to access the gold is to do the WORK. The work requires increasing your consciousness and accountability, decreasing blame, and understanding patterns of reactivity. It requires, letting go of stories and agendas, and endless amounts of courage and vulnerability. The direction doing the Work takes you is towards Mature Love. This is a conscious and difficult place to reside in. So why do it? So that you allow yourself to Grow and Heal and have a more heart centered relationship. Real love requires real work! One of the starting points to steer your relationship in the correct direction is to dispel the following Myths which will reveal the Truth for you to build upon.

Myth: Conflict is a sign you are with the wrong person.

TRUTH: The Truth is, conflict is growth trying to happen. Approached with this awareness, you will be able to see your partner as a gift for healing rather than as an enemy. The growth available to you both is to heal unfinished business from childhood, and provide your partner with the opportunity to be who they are rather than who we want them to be.

Myth: Couples counseling or relationship therapy is a sign of failure.

TRUTH: The Truth is, relationship therapy has been reported to save marriages. With the right therapist, you can learn how to break destructive conversational patterns, learn how to communicate in a way that fosters intimacy and safety, and learn how to show up for yourself and your partner in a more loving and humane way. You will gain insights into your defensive postures, and fill your toolbox with effective and powerful communication strategies that promote connection.

Myth: If your partner truly loved you, they would know how to meet your needs.

TRUTH: The Truth is, this concept keeps you stuck in a fantasy of mind reading and blame. While it is wonderful to have a thoughtful partner, learning how to ask for your needs to be met and make requests without shaming is gift for both of you.

Myth: You should not have to Work hard at your relationship if you are with the right person.

TRUTH: The truth is, if you are with any person that you want to have a thriving relationship with, it will require mindfulness and effort for growth to occur. Everyone has some level of being wounded. Without examining the ways your history affects your present moment you likely will have a relationship filled with unrealistic expectations and high levels of frustration. The Right person will ironically provide triggers, AND be the person to do the work with you. Understanding these 4 Truths can help you transform your relationship. The work may not be sexy, and in fact it can be brutally painful. When you do the WORK, you will grow! You will heal! You will create the love and relationship you want! The Work is where mature love begins!

Written by Susie Kamen, LMSW, CIRT, SILC, is a certified Imago Relationship Therapist. She is the vice president of Imago Michigan and a Robbins- Madanes strategic intervention Life Coach. She helps people get out of their own way to create the life and relationships they desire. www.susiekamen.com

She’s also teaming up with Kelli McMullen for the Process : second edition that begins February 7th. Details and sign up on mindbody. Link below.

We want to create opportunity for you to dig a little deeper. Monthly offerings. To tune in, do the work, connect with others. Give yourself the gift of connection.

CORE : Corporate Renewal Yoga

Remember Kelly Lopez? She’s left the nest and has created her own company called CORE : Corporate Renewal Yoga where she brings this beautiful practice to your workplace.

CORE yoga allows the employees to stay at work and have the yoga class come to them! Most employees complain about being overworked and over-stressed. No time for self care. Most managers complain about needing more productivity from employees. I want to provide a balance to this by teaching your employees how to relax and maintain optimal health by implementing an on-site corporate yoga program.

• 12 week program focusing on mental and physical health through movement, breathing techniques and meditation

• Low-cost innovative solution for companies seeking to reduce healthcare expenses, alleviate workplace stress and promote employee well-being

• Well-rounded classes customized to each company, suitable for all fitness levels- modifications and intensifiers offered

• Yoga Alliance certified (RYT200) and insured

Find more information : Email: lopezk1332@gmail.com

LETS MOVE

Song : You. Your breath. (no its not a song, its really just YOU)

Move : this month, what if we did something different and instead of moving, we just became really still. How to? Close your eyes, find the breath, and just breathe. Maybe set a timer for 2-5 minutes and see if you can lok inside, trace the breath as you inhale, exhale. Not looking for anything, just letting yourself get still. Get quiet. A reconnection with you. That’s all.

Give yourself permission.

Renewal Recap

We spent 6 days in Xinalani Mexico in January. Work, rest, repeat. Heres a few photos from the trip. What an amazing experience. Stay tuned for details of our new Retreat.
#theSpaceForRenewal

We love you so much.

Thank you for being on this journey with us.
Here with you and for you,

the Team